Friday, July 15, 2011

Subtext Textified

What if Erik and Charles had mobile phones to SMS each other with during X-Men: First Class...?

On the way to Westchester - 1:10:45 [xmfcUnKnOwN]



Charles,
Is this trip to your secret hideaway going to take much longer? Also, having a secret hideaway? Not suspicious at all...
Erik.

Erik,
Well you'd know all about secret hideouts, wouldn't you my friend. Besides we're going to Westchester, not Spain. My family's mansion lacks much of what I think a good hideout needs: long stretch of sandy beach, girls in swimsuits, well mixed martinis...
-Charles

Charles,
No martini? Now I am disappointed. And here I thought you had everything taken care of.
Erik.

Erik,
My stepfather was more of a scotch man. But I'm sure I could rustle up something for you. If properly motivated.
...lack of martinis was the only thing that bothered you?
Charles.

Charles,
Beaches aren't really my thing. Too much salt water.
Erik.

Erik,
As fas as I understand it my friend, you are hardly in danger of rusting away.
Charles.

Charles,
Something I would prefer not to put to the test.
Erik.

Erik,
Ahh, but that's why we're on this godforsaken drive to Westchester. To learn, and test the limits of our powers. *smug*
Charles.

Charles,
Don't try to be cute. Will your limits also be tested or are we to perform for our benevolent telepath?
Erik.

Erik,
I'm letting a group of pre adolescent teenagers run havoc in my million dollar family estate. Believe me. My limits will be tested.
Charles

Charles,
And here I thought you had everything well in hand. No secret underground lair?
Erik.

Erik,
Just waiting for council approval on the plans before we start renovating. I think you'll be impressed. There's even going to be a basketball court.
Charles

Charles,
What council? The league of heroes?
Erik.

Erik,
Nothing so mundane. It's hard to build massive underground lairs without DPI approval.
Charles.

Charles,
And here I thought you could just make them think nothing was happening.
Erik.

Erik,
If I start manipulating the humans for anything other than party tricks I'll lose my right to be self righteous and smug. And you know how attached to that I am. ;)
Charles.

Charles,
Yes, you're married to your morals. I'm just waiting for the divorce - it's going to be messy.
Erik.

Erik,
You may be waiting a while my friend. So I'll get you that martini so at least you'll be comfortable.
Charles.

Charles,
What about a massage then? I'm sure that's a rule of lairs, the guests get massages.
Erik.

Erik,
As stated before: Mansion, not lair. Not yet. You draft the proposal for the massage parlor though and I'll present it to the committee.
Charles

Charles,
Who's on this committee?
Erik.

Erik,
Common sense.
Charles.

Charles,
That old bastard? Damn. There go my plans for an obstacle course.
Erik.

Erik,
School, my friend, not boot camp. It will need to be a haven for all of us. Which is why I don't see why we shouldn't stop and pick up some nice additions for the bar. Namely ingredients for that martini of yours.
Charles

Charles,
I still can't believe you don't keep gin and dry vermouth on hand.
Erik.

Erik,
We're only out of olives friend. Still civilized.
Charles.

Charles,
Olives are always optional. You had me worried there.
Erik.

Erik,
A martini without olives? You bolshevik. :P
Charles.

Charles,
When needs must. My Russian is superb.
Erik.

Erik,
So's mine. ;)
Charles

Charles,
Stealing is cheating.
Erik.

Erik
Oh how the tide has turned. What were you saying about my morals friend?
Charles

Charles,
Didn't you know about the affair?
Erik.

Erik
'Borrowing' from someone's mind hardly constitutes me cheating on my morals Erik.
Charles

Charles,
In much the same way as reading everyone's minds I suppose? At least stay out of my head for chess.
Erik.

Erik
Your wish is my command.
Charles

Charles,
Are you flirting with me?
Erik.

Charles,
Charles?
Erik.

Erik,
Chess, Erik, we're discussing chess.
Charles.

Erik,
However you may want to clear your mind, the unhealthy noises from the engine compartment seemed to coincide with that frown of yours. It would be slightly frustrating if you crumple this car like a paper cup.
Charles.

Charles,
Don't be ridiculous, I have to concentrate to use my power. You're imagining things.
Erik.

Erik,
Oh how terribly reassuring.
Charles

Charles,
Was I supposed to be placating your unfounded suspicions? My mistake. Here, have a quarter and buy yourself a candy bar.
Erik.

Erik,
Oh my, I didn't even have to read that to feel the wave of patronization. But I shall accept it nonetheless and buy myself a snickers bar. I find it comforting that you're here to satisfy my whims. Would you like one?
Charles.

Charles,
I've found chocolate doesn't mix well with alcohol. Perhaps you could buy some treats for the children instead.
Erik.

Erik,
And give them more sugar? Are you mad? Look what they did to the CIA institute.
Charles

Charles,
If you can tire them out before we get there...
Erik.

Erik,
They've been cooped in a car for several hours. Feeding them unadulterated sugar is not going to solve any problems. If anything it will exacerbate them.
Charles.

Charles,
We could always drug the chocolate.
Erik.

Erik
Aforementioned morals
Charles

Charles,
Morals or sanity?
Erik.

Erik,
You present an interesting dilemma. I suggest we discuss it at length tonight over martinis.
Charles

Charles,
We might need the scotch by tonight. Why did we start babysitting hyperactive mutant teenagers?
Erik.

Erik,
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Something about saving the world. Oh my... Excuse me my friend. I'm going to go have a talk with my delightful sister and try and restore the bedlam in the car to mere chaos. Failing that. I'll put them all to sleep. Wish me luck.
Charles.

Charles,
I have a feeling you're going to need more than luck. Please let there be silence...!
Erik.

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